The Slow Burn

I do my best but i can’t remove her from my mind. Its been far too long to remember her face.  I remember her warmth pressing against me. I see her body wrapped around mine, keeping me grounded. I look up but i can’t see her face. Below her hair i see a blur. Her eyes and nose are blurred. The only thing i see clearly are her lips. They sit pink and perfect, I can remember how they felt and tasted. I can remember her smile but only a little bit. I see mostly that smirk of hers. All i have is that damn smirk. That smirk that when i would explain my troubles it would stare me in the face telling me to forget the problems and remember her. The smirk that would play jokes on me and remind me i was being a dork. That damn smirk that answered me when i wondered if these moments would ever last. I miss that god damn smirk.

Keep working, gotta find the end.
No stopping till you make it.
Keep working, you’re almost there.
You can’t see the light just yet.
Keep working, it will come soon.
There’s a wall.
Keep working, it can’t be long now.
No way through, gotta go around.
Keep working, it can’t go on forever.
You dug a nice grave.
Keep working, it won’t fill itself.

I didn’t watch the sky as the rain fell, i watched the street. The street littered with glass and debris that i walk down everyday. The rain fell in staggering numbers but didn’t take the whole street at first. The number of drops that fell could have taken the entire street in one fell swoop but chose not to. I watched the last remaining dry spots peak through as the drops fell around and on top of each other surrounding the dry spots and squeezed them out. I looked away for only a second and when i looked back the whole street was lost. Thunder. The battle cry of the storm carried fiercely through my city as the rain continued to fortify its position and gather more support. Soon small enclaves and forts of puddles began to gather in the low areas of my neighborhood. I watched as the street i walk everyday was taken by the storm. The thunderous battle cry moved on as if calling the rain to move out to another city block. It left with the same force but leaving behind its own occupying force. Those will soon be stomped out by kids and the summer sun.

Another one lost their mind. Families are the window in to your pathetic future. A glimpse at how you will live past fifty. With me, I’ll loose my mind before i lose my health. I’ll work out and read books but I don’t think I’m going to escape it. The only way I will is if I die young. I wont leave a legacy to anyone because there wont be anyone to succeed me, I would rather die at thirty alone than die with family having to bathe me. What a pathetic life style. I say nothing of my grandparents i love dearly because they didn’t know it was going to happen. They were blind sided by it, they had no warning signs. I do. I see whats happening and will do my best to stop it by not even giving it a step. So if i die young come to my funeral and celebrate, because this is one mind in my family that didn’t go without a fight.

No one ever bothers to even look twice. It’s a great shit storm of judgment in a sea of displeasure. Why even bother telling someone your name when they already forgot it because you weren’t interesting enough. Alone works enough for me, my support is logic. Why not? it will keep you and your emotions in line and help you find the best solution to a problem. The only thing it can’t help with is other people. They abandoned logic long ago, they broke it’s legs and left it on the side of the road. It attempts to hitchhike on books but is loss under the immense pile of multimedia flooding our senses.